One of General Counsel’s pet peeves is drunk driving. I despise drunks who get behind the wheel. It’d be a lie to say I’ve never had one (or 5) too many and cruised the backroads home. But that was when I was a naïve, young lad, and before I had a law license to protect. Unfortunately, ye olde drunke driving has become somewhat of an epidemic on the scenic roadways of Long Island, particularly Nassau County.  So, General Counsel is going to make it his business to bring you all of the news that's fit to print about his home county's campaign to not only jail, but embarrass each and every drunk driver.

[Photo: Gothamist]

Here's a little back story:  the Nassau County’s District Attorney, Kathleen Rice (who is completely doable, in that she’s older, authoritative and probably likes it in the pooper) and Nassau County Executive/greasy sleazeball Thomas Souzzi have unveiled the best thing since busty milf porn, the Nassau County DWI Wall of Shame. The “Wall of Shame” posts the mug shots, names and hometowns of all persons arrested in Nassau County on the charge of Driving While Intoxicated.  And, remember all persons are innocent until proven guilty. 

This “Wall of Shame” has provided General Counsel’s office hours upon hours of entertainment. The mug shots are priceless. It’s a shock that these mongoloids even have driver’s licenses. Unfortunately, there aren’t many shirtless “Cops” esque mug shot on the “Wall of Shame.” However, the spoiled, rich, upper middle class women in their mid-20s on the verge of tears, because Daddy couldn’t bail them out totally makes up for it. A major bonus was seeing a girl I almost took to the senior prom. I swear I don’t have any residual issues from my teenage years. 

Much press has been given to the program on the pages of the hallowed paper of record for Long Island, Newsday. Some are crying foul over the publication of names and mug shots. Some think it will deter future drunks from getting behind the wheel after a few too many. Personally, I’m just enjoying the hard-hitting journalism. My favorite is an article from late May, in which Gianna Vigliotti (probably a Yankees fan) claims the whole DWI arrest was one big mistake. See she hadn’t been drinking, just making out with a boy who was drunk, thus causing her to drive erratically, and blow a .15 on the breathalyzer, nearly twice the legal limit. Nevermind the slurred speech, four empty beer bottles under the passenger seat, and wait for it…the empty beer can in her purse. How much do you want to bet she was coming home from the Crazy Donkey (or as the locals call it Da Donkey 1)?

Stay classy Long Island!